New York City
i never realized how long a night could be. I decide which wall to stare at. i turn onto my left. I switch again. A blank ceiling. i project memories. our moments together — here in this bed. The warmth from your heart pressed against my skin. how it made me sweat. Who do i turn to now? thoughts in my head have no where to go. sleep provides a momentary release before i wake and start the process over.

we met briefly last week. did things feel different? sometimes it feels like we never truly are apart. the strength of our love — it binds us together. I don’t care if it weighs me down. i’ll drown for you. I feel you slipping away from me again, ignoring me like you continue to do when we get too close. you are delicate and I worry about the words that might turn you away. you still give me butterflies when you smile.

i wonder at times what you are afraid of. Is it me? is it you? you feel different, but i see you for you at your core. you can’t change those things so suddenly. that lunch reminded me of our first date.
Posted: Friday. June 14, 2024.
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