New York City
Let me list the times. Once in the New Jersey Rest Stop outside of the city, where my heart hyperventilated and my body ran for dear life. Once in a hotel in Tribeca, where you died a silent death in my presence. Once in a nameless cafe in Miami, where your sadness made me want to cry forever. I am to blame. My enemies will tell you. Oh sorry, I didn't catch your name. I am too busy murdering you without a sound or weapon. It only takes a look. I'm a silent killer. How did I do it? Explain it to me. Because from my point of view, the situation murdered me too. Because from my side of things, I was clawing my way out of dark places you've never witnessed or experienced. Born on the wrong side. Always stuck in the wrong place around people who aren't for me. Always looking for a way to escape. Not you, you see. Im sorry to say it, but you are more privileged than me. I had to fight my way out of my old life. Blood tears streaming down my face every night. It was war for year after year. Yeah, I can have a nice poker face. Behind closed doors is another story. Begging for mercy and receiving none. No one noticed me barely surviving. Including you. I Held my breath for so many years. Caught in an invisible torture chamber. No one heard me screaming. The walls were too high. You were my only hope, my chance at a new life in brighter places. But now its too late. I crossed over to the dark side. Am I lost forever. Hardened to the core. Is it because I am too good at playing it cool. Is it because I am too powerful for my own good. I can't believe there is such a thing as being too strong, but maybe I've achieved it. If you think I don't care, well, I think about you everyday. Your sad face flashing in my mind. Are you alright? Honestly, you are probably better off than me. Thats how it seems to always go. I bet you wish I never wormed my way into your existence. You are all I ever wanted. And you have disappeared. So, what am I supposed to do with my life. Is there a second chance for us? Do you know Ive spent my whole life just trying to escape. And then I found you. And everything became clear. I knew what I wanted. I found my target. Make you attached for life. A depth that's impossible to escape You felt it too. So strong, worth all the pain But only if I get it Nothing has changed. I still want it more than life, despite everything Ive gone through. The price so high But I was made for the intensity. I need more out of this life Im built for the big leagues So take me Ill wait forever. The way you looked at me, so lovestruck. And I love you right back. Sign me up. Because there is only one side I want to be on and that's yours. I can't help it. I won't take no for an answer. It's the only way for this story to end. I've worked so hard. Haven't I earned it. Cant this one thing go my way. I can handle everything else the world throws at me, Just give me this prize and Ill be alright. So, here's to another day of me hoping, wishing, and waiting. For the moment things changes for ever. And this long pilgrim's journey ends And a new story can finally begin
Posted: Friday. May 31, 2024.
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