New York City
It's a love letter. Ew gross. I don't like to show this side. I'm too strong for this. I'm a tough girl. You can call me drill sergeant. Words will cheapen it. And make me flinch. And vomit. But per usual, I'm going crazy. I don't have to say it out loud, because you can read me. I don't have to say how I feel, because you already know how I feel, because you feel it. But alas, I can't stop the purge. Here I am. Again. And you are not by my side. How did that happen. Because you should be. And I am crying again. For the millionth time. Over you. And I feel like a fool. You would never know if you met me. It's my secret side. Could you ever guess what it has done to me? Do you think about me? Do you even care about me? Are you in emotional despair or is it just me? Because I know it's dramatic, but I would rather die, than live without you. And I mean all of you. It's a package deal. I want you all. I need you all. I left my family and I choose you. We can't play this game forever. I've got things to accomplish. If you think I moved on, well I haven't. I am living a sad sad life, just waiting on you to appear again. I don't like it one bit. But you've got me obsessed. You haunt me. I am desperate for the look I have only found in your eyes. I would do whatever it takes. Lie, cheat, steal, or bury the body for you. I'm at your dispense. Whatever you say. I just need you in my life and I want it now. How many more years will drag on. It is so brutal to take. All for you. I hope you are grateful. Will I ever find out? Can you please give me my happy ending? The ball is in your court. I can't make the first move. My body won't let me. It's a really tricky position for me, ya know. You don't know my history. Or what wars I fought to get here. I'm on my 10th life. I always feel like I am running out of time and energy. But mostly it hurts so badly. I can't positive-think my way out of this one, trust me, I've tried. I want a new life with you in it. You can come now. I give you full permission. Please. Where did you go and when can I expect you back? And this time, can you stay forever with me, by my side, until the day I die?
Posted: Monday. February 05, 2024.
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