New York City
Putting words on paper makes it all so crass. But I am going insane holding it inside. Words will taint it and I will hate every second of this. I blame you. I don't need to say it, because you can read between the lines, but since you aren't around what else am I to do. Your face is tattooed inside my brain. Thanks a lot. I fall asleep to it almost every night, inside a puddle of my own tears and fears alike. It brings respite to my aching heart, while causing my heart to ache, at the same time. The look on your face that night is something I can't erase. Something I would lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, throw a tantrum, scream bloody murder, or commit all kinds of crimes for. You've got the power to make me do anything. Don't abuse it. I can still feel the vibration in the room that night. You are the mother I never had. A shining light. You are better than anyone to me. I want to know everything about you and more. I am too proud to ever say it out loud. Don't make me. It's too sensitive. I'm a tough girl. Show no weakness unless the coast is clear. I don't understand. You cannot live your life without me in it. I don't want to live my life without you in it. Until death do us part. Can we just have that unspoken understanding and get on it with it? Enough is Enough. I'm ready and waiting. Don't let this be unrequited. I will die. How much torture does it require? How many years do I have to suffer alone? What is the point? Don't let me be a tragedy with a tragic ending. You know I'm all alone in this world. But you could change that. I don't know where I belong, except to you. Alls well that ends well, so please let it end with you. Then maybe. Just maybe. I can finally fly.
Posted: Thursday. June 08, 2023.
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